Intro To Criminal Pets[]
DISCLAIMER: We are not to be held responsible if someone recognizes these pets by any of the mentioned information or their silhouette and (say) poisons them or something terrible happens. That's why there is a contract for them to sign when they go into the interview, freeing us of any guilt.
Whew! Thank goodness for contracts, otherwise I'd be in jail for not turning all these criminals in!
CRIMINAL (umm...) I MEAN MYSTERIOUS PET #1[]
Mrs. "Nobody" Knutt Weight: 230kg Height: 1.1 metres Fur Color: Red Born In: City of Marada Hospital Last Known Job: Poison Shop Hobbies: Traveling to other Countries and Worlds. Going to Hard Rock Concerts. Music Preference: Metal and Hard Rock. Last Seen: Some pets said they saw her riding the "Merry-Go-Round" in Roo Island (wherever that is).... Status: Human Owned MSSN: 12223-6443-1
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KNUTT: All right. INTERVIEWER: I understand you used to work in the Poison Shop in Eleka Town right? KNUTT: Yes. INTERVIEWER: What did you used to do there? KNUTT: Well I used to clean the toilets and floors... INTERVIEWER: Ahem... It says in my notes you used to help to make the Poisons, is that true Mrs. Knutt? KNUTT: Oh yeah... I kinda forgot. INTERVIEWER: Well I would like to know a little more of what it was like to work making Poisons. KNUTT: Well I would go around Marada looking for junk, spiders, broken bolimo teeth, minipet tongues, pet poop, grinded crystals, etc. anything to make a pet die. INTERVIEWER: OMG. What else would you do? KNUTT: Well I had this, huh, this... INTERVIEWER: What? What? KNUTT: Ahem, this N... This.... INTERVIEWER: Come on, come on... KNUTT: *Cough* Neopet friend.... INTERVIEWER: WHAT???? A NEOPET!!! KNUTT: Yeah, huh, he'd give me dung items, and anything in Neopia that would be poisonous to a Marapet. INTERVIEWER: Oh my GOSH... (10 second pause).... What else would you get? KNUTT: Paintbrushes, Morphing Potions, Strange Potions, Neggs, all of those are poisonous to Marapets. INTERVIEWER: My goodness... KNUTT: Yeah, in exchange I would give him Chibs Potions.... INTERVIEWER: What would he want that for? KNUTT: Well, I dunno, but I couldn't care less... well, he did mumble a bit about cooking for the Golden Doubloon... INTERVIEWER: Terrible... And mind you, where would you get those Chibs Potions? Because last time I checked they were extremely rare and expensive. KNUTT: Well, the Poison Shop owner is friends with the Potion Shop owner, he gets them by the truckload but he is not supposed to sell them... Instead he gives them to people who offer him something really good. INTERVIEWER: --Pretends to look at watch-- Oh Gosh, look at the time! I am sorry my friends but I have to get going, be back later with some more criminal time.... I mean MYSTERIOUS pet time. Thanks so much for coming Mrs. Nobody the Knutt. Your information is safe with me :-) Nobody will ever know! |
GUTTER (oops sorry) I MEAN MYSTERIOUS PET #2[]
FELIZ: Yo, dog... I aint gots all days! INTERVIEWER: Sorry Mr. Gangster, I mean Mr. Nobody the Fe- FELIZ: Yo man what'cha want... for the cops to get me? Man, if I founds outs you're doing this to turns me in, yall be sorry! Ice killed more marapets and minipets than yall think! INTERVIEWER: Sorry. Yeah, excuse me I am a woman, not a man. FELIZ: Yo I aint mean "man" Ice mean "man" the french words. Ice knows french man! INTERVIEWER: Oh yes, sure I'm a "Ma'am" thanks! You are very bright Mr. Crimi- I mean Mr. Nobody the.... Oops I almost forgot. FELIZ: Oh man this ***** I'm leavins yall. INTERVIEWER: But mister you signed the contract!!!! Please come back sir! FELIZ: Contract, SCHM-CONTRACT, once I **** you up, see if you can ******* use your ******* contracts. Yall donts know me yall! Ice do whatever Ice wants SO **** U!!!!! I am ditching yall. INTERVIEWER: Oh, oh, no.... :-( Oh well I guess I can't finish this interview and.... I had no idea you can move your hands in such many ways!... -- Geez, I didn't know "I" had a plural form either o_0 CAN'T WAIT to get a better job!!!!!!
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Mr. Unknown Pet Weight: 260kg Height: 1.4 metres Fur Color: Musical Brown Born In: City of Marada Hospital Last Known Jobs: Eleka Prison, Illegal Concoctions Shop and The DNA Laboratory. Hobbies: Rapping, Cursing and Killing. May also enjoy Basketball. Music Preference: Rap, RB & Hip Hop Last Seen: City of Marada Prison Status: Loaner (?) MSSN: 82521-2483-7
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SCUM (ahem) I MEAN MYSTERIOUS PET #3[]
Mr. Unknown Mailo Weight: 420kg (!) Height: 2.4 metres (!) Color: Blue Born In: Laboratory Last Known Jobs: Illegal Concoctions Shop and The DNA Laboratory. Hobbies: Not sure, putting chips inside Mailos? Music Preference: Electronic Beeps Last Seen: Ublish Mission Status: Tag-Along MSSN: MP111-183-1
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INTERVIEWER: Welcome once again ladies and gentlemen to the evaluation of criminal [I mean] mysterious pets.... NERDOGEEKO: Excuse me lady. I am not a criminal, or trash, or whatever you mentioned about me. I am an experiment robot pet. INTERVIEWER: Oh yes, sorry Mr. Nobody the Mailo Minipet.... NERDOGEEKO: Ma'am, please like I said before; I am a Marapet, fully grown, I am not a minipet. INTERVIEWER: Agree, no problem Mr. Pet, marapet that is. Sir I am reading your notes and.... Sir, are you sure you're supposed to be here? NERDOGEEKO: Ma'am your webpage didn't specify what pets/minipets or what credentials, also the title is extremely misleading. You see I am here because I know "things". INTERVIEWER: What kind of things? NERDOGEEKO: Those that most people don't know about. Like, I am truly a marapet I am not just saying that, I am operating WITHOUT batteries. Doesn't that tell you something? INTERVIEWER: Hmm.... NERDOGEEKO: You see Mailos are supposed to be created in Ziranet and they are robots who need batteries to help our owners. INTERVIEWER: Uh-huh... NERDOGEEKO: I know everything there is to know about creating a minipet. And those that claimed to need batteries, that's only half the truth. I don't need any, and neither any Mailo, all the scientish has to do is place an already charged chip inside Mailo's memory and voila, we don't need batteries and the best thing of all, the chip requires no replacement and it works great. But I am not here to talk about Mailos only!!! NO, No. I am here to talk about all minipets, DNA minipets, Fossil minipets, you name it, I know how each are made and the things they are put through how cruel the scientists and hospitals, minipets are treated much worst than some marapets its so sad the experiments performed on these tame and sweet creatures, I tell you they get injected with all kinds of potions and formulas, its so sad and their parent-pet doesn't know what is going on until its too late INTERVIEWER: (looks at watch and yawns)... NERDOGEEKO: Anyone who would let their minipets exposed to such pain and misery should be exposed to the same treatment too! I used to work for the Laboratory, I used to help Ublish with his stars inventory. Between you and I, the stars people give to Ublish are put back into the Stars shop, the Stars Shop owner and Ublish are cousins. Yes I know people do the Missions because they want a Huthiq, but what is a Huthiq good for? Why don't they get a Mailo for example? Mailo's are dependable, we are helpful, we are workhorses and we have been improved to the max with the chip.... INTERVIEWER: [snores.... zzzzzzzzz] NERDOGEEKO: Ma'am.... Ma'am..... [snaps metal fingers loudly] INTERVIEWER: What, where, who.... Oh, its you again. Sorry I didn't sleep much last night. NERDOGEEKO: Ma'am I feel insulted, you should be dying to hear all I can teach you, and to own a wonderful Mai-- [sparks, static noises, then nothing] INTERVIEWER: Sir, are you ok...... ---3 hours later and doctors, hospitals and pharmacies called--- NERDOGEEKO: Wow, what happened? INTERVIEWER: Oh, yeah your chip got fried and short circuited, it overheated. So I got you a common Mailo battery temporarily. NERDOGEEKO: You don't say! INTERVIEWER: You need to get it changed in one week. Sorry. NERDOGEEKO: Darn it, #^$%*#! *walks away* INTERVIEWER: Hmm... he must have spoken in a sort of extraterrestrial language or maybe a robot tongue because I didn't understand the last thing he said. Oh well.
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AUTHORITIES: He, he, you know I was joking about the confidential stuff... If I should manage to help you find these pets and arrest them can you promise me you will give me maybe, a Snow Costume, a Christmas Map #6, a Chibs Potion or something similar? I agree to give out all the transcripts and tapes and even the pictures! |
The parodies in Marapetia were made for fun purposes and should not be taken literally. Images and names pertaining to pets or places in Marada all belong to Marapets.com (Ian and Laimay) and were used with permission. |